“We all think we know everything when we’re young.” We’ve all heard it. I know I wasn’t the only one who thought everyone older than me was being dramatic and condescending. Of course we knew what we were doing. Right?! But the truth is hindsight is always 20/20.
When we’re young the world is so big and possibility is endless. There is magic in the optimism. As I’ve gotten older my optimism has taken a beating. I keep going over all the things I still haven’t accomplished yet. I keep thinking, this is not where I was supposed to be. How is everyone else there and I’m not?! Trust me on this DO NOT DO THIS TO YOURSELF. It’s counter productive.
There are so many things I wish I could tell my younger self. To get to a place of gratitude and self acceptance instead of self sabotage. I’ve written an open letter, to every version of my younger self:
Dear Past Eleanor,
Remember that I love you.
First and for most, I love you. You’re amazing and worthy and enough. Give yourself a break, you’re doing the best you can.
You don’t always have to be so tough all the time. You care too much about what people think of you. It makes you cold. Their opinions of you don’t matter, but your opinions of yourself do. Later on you will look back and regret being cruel to people simply because you felt you needed to act superior in order to be taken seriously. Love yourself for exactly who you are because that person is amazing.
It’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes. Being tough and intimidating is part of your personality but its not all that you are. It’s okay to be soft and tough at the same time. Again, you don’t have to be harsh to be taken seriously. Tact and empathy go a long way.
Trust yourself. You do know what you’re doing. Second guessing yourself slows you down. For the next few years you will struggle with being taken over by your dark side. Embrace it. It’s part of who you are. But it’s not all that you are. Learn when and how to use it effectively. You will be surprised how quickly people respect you for it. And how it doesn’t feel so dark anymore.
Take your growth and education more seriously. I know you think you know everything right now but I have bad news for you… you don’t. You will wish you hadn’t wasted so much time not learning as much as you can. Or continually becoming the best version of yourself. You’ll feel like it put you behind in your personal life and career. But it’s okay. It’s a process and it’s okay to take it slow. It’s never to late to be successful.
Be careful who you trust. You’re going to get a lot of advice from a lot of people. Do your own research. Some people only have their own interests in mind.
Speak kinder to yourself. You are so full of self doubt and hatred. It manifests itself into your personality. Kind words go a really long way. When you start telling yourself more positive things you’re more present and kinder. You make a better impression because you are no longer self sabotaging. You attract better people to yourself because you’ve raised you vibration.
Forgive yourself. You carry so much guilt from every decision and interaction you have. You don’t have to. You are allowed to make mistakes. You are allowed to grow. If it doesn’t serve you anymore, let it go. And on that same note. Learn when to walk away from things that no longer serve you. Situations. Jobs. People. It’s one of the hardest lessons you’ll learn but it will help set you free.
Handle each problem as it comes. One day, one hour. one thing at a time. You worry so much that everything is the end of the world. That is okay. You’re need for survival will give you the best you can. But also not everything requires a meltdown. Breathe. If you can’t breathe you can’t think. Everything works out eventually. Not always the way you’d like it to but it will work out. Stressing won’t make it better.
You’re going to have a lot of hard times. A lot of heart break. Hang in there. You will get through this. Sometimes I look back and all I can remember is that I was always upset about something. I promise you will get through this. There is light at the end of the tunnel. And you will learn how to live in a happy mindset. Just keep fucking going.
And lastly. You’re feelings do matter. You will convince yourself the things you want don’t matter. You will let yourself be swayed by other peoples inability to see your worth. Don’t believe them. You’re feelings are valid. And your voice has value.
That’s probably the most important thing. You have a voice. It carries its weight. It has something to say. It can help people. It’s smarter than you give it credit for. And more creative. Use it and use it wisely.
Future Eleanor
Look. We just didn’t know then what we know now. We did the best we could. There was a time we would give anything to have what we have now. My best attempt at moving froward right now is to count my wins. Even the little ones. What else can you do? There is always something that at one point seemed so hard to get. That once you got it was easy to forget. Getting an agent. Paying off a debt. Living independently. Mending a friendship. There is always something you take for granted that you didn’t use to have and you could lose at any point. Appreciate yourself.
Give yourself credit. You’re doing the best you can. Take a step back, take it all in. Write a letter to a younger version of yourself that needs it. Move forward as someone that younger version needed. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this blog. If you liked it follow me on Facebook and share this article with your friends. And leave me a comment. What would you tell you past self?
